Author Topic: Small Animal News  (Read 48961 times)

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Offline Sindobook

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Small Animal News
« on: December 17, 2009, 11:39:31 pm »
Please stop sending PMs to the pig's old skype account.  This account is no longer in use.  Everything that gets sent to it goes into a black hole.

The mascot search at live-evil is not moving particularly fast.  In the meantime it looks like I am going to have to answer several querries that came up.

I woke up this morning and there were 7 mostly-panicked and exzasperated PMs asking what happened between Holly and Mr. Sparkles.  Now please just step back and think about small animal biology.  Mr. Sparkles and Holly live in different houses.  I know they met at a pignic and they were supposed to be together and all that stuff, but the truth from the very beginning is the woman who looks after Mr. Sparkles didn't really like Holly.  Also, Holly lives across town from Mr. Sparkles.  Not to mention that Holly has other (male) bunnies in her life that she interacts with on a regular basis.  I don't need to be any kind of small animal expert behavioralist to tell you that relationship just isn't going to work out long-term.  I don't care if you have the internet today or all this other stuff that helps anyone stay in touch.  If Holly lived alone it might work out.  But she doesn't.  So that was the end of that, and honestly anyone who was banking on that thing working out just doesn't have any idea how small animals think.

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2010, 02:03:25 am »
On or about 1-5-2010 some of Mr. Sparkles 'friends' were injured in a boating accident [1].  Skippy suffered some minor cuts and lacerations.  Muffin has two broken ribs, though not necessarily both due to the incident.  Mr. Wiggles broke a toe and Twinkie has a few scratches on his nose.  Min-min was not involved in the incident.  All the bunnies are okay and none of their injuries are considered to be life-threatening.

[1] Note from me:  "Boating accident" is a poker term where a player has a full house (aka. 'boat'), bets big, but still loses the pot.

Offline mamochan

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2010, 03:33:20 am »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_poker_terms <- Boat term does exist (full house), Boating Accident does not.
For more information, google up poker terms and you will find that boating accident does not exist. Only in Sindo's pig world :)
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Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2010, 08:18:53 pm »
Basically the term "boating accident" is pretty much exclusive to no limit texas hold'em players.  A high-stakes type of game that is primarily played within California, Nevada, or Texas.  The reasons for this are twofold, first, in texas hold'em boating accidents are more common than in other types of poker (due to the large number of shared cards) and in no-limit the tendency to bet big when one has made a boat.

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2010, 07:49:09 pm »
Please stop sending me PMs about Holly.  Those of you who are PMing me know what I am talking about.  Seriously do not make a big deal about nothing.  From the beginning of time, every 6 months or so Holly has done that.  In the end the bunny always comes back so it's not something to be overly concerned about.  Just ask Mr. Sparkles or PM him and he will back me up on this.  That's just the way bunnies are (most of them).  Get used to it.

If you all want something to worry about, Mikey did bring up the matter of _S_ aka. _M_.  No small animal is quite sure exactly what happened there but I have a really bad feeling about that one.  If you really want to PM me study up on that case and then we can talk about that one.  B'cos, right now, it's a huge unknown.  And it's very troubling to the rest of the small animals. 

Offline mamochan

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2010, 12:49:01 am »
Don't listen to sindo, she's off her medication :)
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Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2010, 02:50:26 am »
Those small animals who chose to play the odds on Holly's departure and placed bets for her return in the "1 to 2 weeks" category can now claim their winnings as the results have been certified by Mr. Sparkles, the bunny de jure on this matter.  The payout for winning tickets is 6.3x for every 1.0x carrot bid.

Those with winning tickets have two options to claim a redemption.

1) You can snail-mail your tickets to Mr. Sparkles the old way.

or

2) You can photograph the ticket and send it to Mr. Sparkles' email as a picture attachment (.jpg only and the USN number must be visible). 

Either way you must have your small animal sign, stamp, or place his/her pawprint on the ticket with ink, in order for the ticket to be valid.

Please remember to include your own address to mail the redemption to.

Thank you for playing and be sure to look forward to Holly's next departure and subsequent return.

Offline mamochan

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2010, 03:34:58 am »
Seems Sindobook is not taking her medication. Shes gone crazy!  ::)
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Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2010, 09:51:12 pm »
Seems Sindobook is not taking her medication. Shes gone crazy!  ::)
You need to learn that repeating the same thing over and over again does not make it true.

Offline mamochan

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2010, 04:10:08 am »
Don't deny it :)
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Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2010, 02:37:28 am »
Please stop PM'ing me and calling me on Skype about Holly's latest little shenanigan.  I honestly don't care if you were offended or not.  I don't care if you think Holly is teasing you or hurting your feelings or whatever.  I don't want to hear about.  Holly is a #$! #$##ed bunny for goodness sakes.  If something offends, hurts your feelings, etc., learn to ignore it and move on, people.

People who know me irl know that when someone tries to insult me, I will either just laugh in their face or ignore them outright.  So deal with it.

To touch on an earlier post, I am told on or about 2-6-10 Mr. Sparkles friends had yet another boating accident.  No one was injured (significantly) and the damage appears to be superficial, though that is still being assessed.  With all the boating accidents and other stuff that's going on lately, I'm sure we're all looking forward to the upcoming season of "Mr. Sparkles and Friends" on TV.  I haven't seen the footage but I'm sure it will be better than last year, there should be a lot of good stuff in there.

That's about it for small animal news right now, more news when there is something worth reporting.

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2010, 11:25:18 pm »
Those small animals who chose to play the odds on Holly's 'hooking up' and placed bets in the "0-7 days" category can now claim thier winnings.  Boy was that a dark horse... not.

The payout for winning tickets is 1.63x for every 1.0x carrot bid.  Those who bet on 8-14 days and surrendered the bid prior to 2010 Feb 23, 12:00pm can reclaim 0.27x for every 1 carrot bid.  Those who bet on 15+ days and surrendered the bid prior to the above date can reclaim 0.22x for every 1 carrot bid.  Thanks for playing.  Please use the system described in the above message to claim a redemption.  Mr. Sparkles is currently indisposed but his address is still in use to snail-mail your tickets in for redemption.  Please direct any questions regarding redemption to Mikey. 

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2010, 01:24:44 am »
Yes Mr. Sparkles is just fine.  Basically there is an an emerging problem with the feral jackrabbit population in the area.  Mr. Sparkles and some of his underlings are busy surveying this population and that is why he hasn't been on Skype lately.

Beatrice has been appointed as the new leader of the Bunny Brigade, to replace Simon.

I don't know who (or what) is going to replace the pig as the acting mascot.  So please stop asking that.  It's a decision that's out of my hands.  You can talk to them if you have any ideas.

Mikey started a formal search for the bunny 'Molly', missing since January.  Molly is a mixed Californian bunny that is approximentally 9 inches tall, has brown fur and hazel eyes.  Molly enjoys hopping around and listening to loud, racous music.  There is currently a reward of 50 mini carrots placed on information leading to the safe return of Molly.  If you have any knowledge as to the whereabouts of this missing bunny, please Skype Mikey.

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2010, 01:03:49 am »
Basically this is what happened.  As you all know the pig passed away recently.

When the pig was alive he ran a pretty big gambling organization.  First of all a virtual redeemable currency was established, 'carrot slips' as they were called.  These slips or credits have a redeemable value of 1 baby carrot apiece.  They are traded online.  You can also use dollars or other currency to purchase carrot slips at an exchange rate determined based on costco prices of baby carrots (which would fluctuate).  You can't redeem your carrot slips for dollars.  The carrot was chosen b'cos they are almost universally enjoyed by any small animal out there.  So it was a virtual currency that was only really of use to small animals.  Of course there is also a trade in romaine lettuce, but that is done that is done through middlemen who buy the lettuce and then traded it for carrot slips on a pretty small scale.

The only reason this 'virtual currency' actually works is b'cos of the real money that goes into the system in exchange for carrot slips.  These dollars facilitate the purchases of carrots at costco or other nationwide 'warehouse' stores, which are then used for redemptions.  There were numerous local groups to facilitate these redemptions.  At some point a markup was establshed in the redemption process in order to ensure that there were enough local groups willing to do redemptions.

Basically the pig's local group that did redemptions ran up a slight surplus every month.  But the real money came in from the gambling type pools the pig would run.  Odds would be set up on everything, for instance when a popular small animal went missing, the pig would post odds on what day she would return and small animals would bid the virtual currency into those pools.  With these gambling type pools the pig was creating a large net influx of carrot slips into his own accounts, which he would retire.  This brought a net influx of cash into the system that the pig would then donate to keeping the site around.

Now with the pig gone the small animals that took over are just not able to run the gambling operation as well as he did.  The pig seemed to have a gift for choosing profitable odds, it's as if one dark horse after another kept comming in and it seemed like he would make out big every time a significant bet was held.  Today the local group of small animals is running the gambling operation as best as they can, but it's just not that profitable.  Or reliable / regular.  They've been sending what they can to the site, but it's just not enough to keep the site around.  So once that site goes down, they'll find somewhere else to send it to.  I have no idea where, please don't ask.

Offline Sindobook

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Re: Small Animal News
« Reply #14 on: March 17, 2010, 11:09:10 pm »
I've gotten a lot of PMs lately saying the pig must still be alive b'cos it's obvious his tactics are still being used in the field.

This is a bunch of baloney.  Someone is just starting rumors to stir things up.  The pig died months ago.  What happened is there were more than a few people who were students of the pig or had contact with the pig in one way or another.  In other words, they either studied the pig, or they were influenced by him.  Even rivals and enemies can learn from each other.  So today, they still practice his tactics and strategy.  And her (R's) tactics are not particularly elegant or robust.  She's succeeded to date based on luck and willpower.  Not tactical skill or good strategy, if she has either of those two things she either doesn't show it, or it isn't obvious yet.