General > Except for the Pig
Small Animal News
Sindobook:
From Mikey's Blog. The unnamed 'X' gave the following report, after completing his successful (though obviously temporary) infiltration of the gang.
"During the so-called off-season, the gang is desperate for whatever help they can get. They needed a 'runner', a cat who could be trusted to move items and messages from one place to another. I saw the opportunity and volunteered, knowing that I might eventually be trusted with secret and important communications, too sensitive to send over the electronic network. For collecting intelligence, the position was about as good as it could get."
"The effect of hierarchy within the gang could be well felt. In the beginning, a lot of the cats were quite physical and some, like P's de-facto right-hand-cat, T, would aggressively bump into me and try to knock me into walls or other cats. Others, like J, seemed very blaze until I once was purring with F and then suddenly he charged at me from a distance, hissing and shrieking at me to 'keep my paws off her'. It seems that all this was quite normal, any new cat in the gang would be tested to see where they would fall in the hierarchy and if they could be bossed or bullied around. But the cats in gang that acted this way, I found them to be all hiss and no bite, I quickly found that they were weak fighters who simply could not back up their threats."
"As a runner, I was often employed by P, who was leery of R, at the time the manager of the technical electronic communication department. R himself was a controversial cat, and when I started there was a lot of of back-and-forth between P and Z (a snake) about their plans to sack him. Their messages were essentially scribbles, which I took the time to read even if I assured P I did not (and could not) read. From the time I started, R's days were already numbered, the plotting between the two had R's pay pulled while at the same time, an ally of Z set up a new main server and physically detached the server that R had maintained from the gang network, and backed everything up just to be certain. Once R realized that he was no longer receiving any income from the gang, he tried to hack into the gang's network through his server but failed since it was no longer connected. When R realized his attempts had already been pre-empted, he threatened to lead a revolt against P, but it was hopeless as his support of the prior leader L had hurt his reputation among gang members so much that no cat would even consider taking his side against P."
"Shortly thereafter, P decided to do a purge. All the cats were 'herded' into a room under the promise that gourmet cat food would be available in large quantities. But instead, once all the cats gathered and were purring and licking their noses in anticipation, all the exits to the room were locked and P turned to his right-hand-cat, T, to lead something of a 'pep rally' praising himself. T raised his right paw and mewled as loud as he could, expecting the other cats to follow what he said in perfect sync."
"The spectacle lasted no more than a few minutes, with chants akin to 'all hail El Presidente' and the like. I played along and did my best to look enthusiastic like a lot of the other cats; about halfway through the rally I spotted a number of cameras that were trained on everyone. No doubt they were watching us to ensure that we showed appropriate enthusiasm in praising the leadership of the gang."
"Afterwards, T produced a single can of gourmet cat food, citing budgetary cuts. Some of the cats were naturally upset, and mass chaos ensued as they tried to fight each other, snatch, and grab the can in order to escape with it. I don't know who ended up getting the can, but I did see P and T take advantage of the chaos to make a timely escape."
"The next day, several cats had disappeared and anyone who asked as simply told they were no longer part of the gang. I believe the highest ranking member who got purged was the manager of the department of operational notice development. Apparently most of the other cats thought little of it, the had become used to frequent purges under the former leadership of L and considered the purges under the newer leadership tame by comparison to the more frequent 'loyalty tests' and 'security checks' that had to be endured under him."
"After the purge, P must have felt more secure because he announced he no longer needed runners. Instead I was moved to the collections department. Our job was to go from door to door in our territory and extort the populace, primarily a variety of small animals and others who were unlucky enough to live in areas where the gang still had a grip."
"In practice, this job had become quite difficult. Other cats in the department would often speak of the 'good ol days' where small animals knew if they did not pay up, they risked being eaten on the spot, or worse."
"Our misadventures were fraught with danger, and all the cats were on the edge. The mere sound of a barking dog could send the cats running every which way and abort all collection activities for that day. We kept hearing how our 'fat cats[1]' had big things in the works but most of us doubted they'd ever see it through the night[2]."
[1] similar to personal usage, somewhat derogatory term for lead cats
[2] another saying among cats, implies that it will be forgotten by the next day
Sindobook:
Continued from the last post:
"E, who ran the department, was under a lot of pressure from P to bring in some income. In response to his begging for help, P sent down three snakes, two small rattlers and a young boa. But the move was largely symbolic, as the snakes were total loners and refused to work with the cats as part of the collection team. They insisted on working alone and while they did manage to dispose of a few animals who were not paying up, they were still not able to collect anything at all. Regarding these snakes, after one simply disappeared while out on a job, the other two were frightened by a rumor that the small animals had employed a mercenary king snake that was responsible for his disappearance. They refused to go out and hence became quite useless to the department."
"It wasn't too long before E's disappearance was planned. T, P's previously mentioned 'right paw', had doubts of E's loyalty and suspected that E was pocketing the income that the department was bringing in rather than sending it to P. So I was to lead E into a trap where he would be assaulted by T and several other cats, who would dispose of him. In exchange, I would be promoted to the new leader for the department."
"Recognizing this was a spoiled deal, instead I crossed T and explained the situation to E. We schemed up the plan of leading T and his followers into our own trap, involving some of the dogs that C's small animals were employing. I met with my patron and told him of the planned scheme, he called C on his radio and after a discussion, C agreed to send two dogs and a 'fighting bunny' squad to assist. The plan was to wait for the two of us to go to the ambush point (as T had instructed) and then wait for T's forces to surround it and move in. Shortly after, C's fighting bunnies would charge in to assist us, as well as the Pomeranian, while the Dachshund would stand by to chase down any of T's cats who tried to escape."
"The plan worked quite well, leading to an almost comical scene where the fighting bunnies had formed a circle trapping T and his followers in the middle. Meanwhile the Pomeranian and the two of us squared off against T and his several followers, once the Pomeranian identified T by his scent, he charged and tried to bite T, the rest of us kept the other cats from interfering and when some of them tried to split, they received powerful kicks from the bunnies, knocking them square off their paws and back into the center of the circle. The fight went on for a short while, the Pomeranian grazing T with a few bites, enough to grab some fur but nothing else; despite being outnumbered by T's followers, we were able to at least hold our own and keep them from from defending T. One of the cats that had tried to run and took a kick from the bunny was lying paws up on the ground, T grabbed his submitting comrade and swung him around, knocking the Pomeranian off balance and proceeded to throw his comrade at a bunny. The bunny was knocked back by the impact, and he ran through the hole full speed before the bunny could recover. As formerly planned, the Dachshund took after him, but would return empty handed. Several seconds later, the rest of T's followers were either unable to fight or showing submission, they were taken away by the bunnies and once we learned P had escaped, we figured reinforcements would not be far behind so I bade E farewell and told him to take care of himself."
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It is still a work in progress. I will put up a new video when it is ready. This is 6-7 times the power of the one in the video. There is nothing wrong, it is just the usual development process delays. The system itself works great, but it was a bit overpowered for the front-end supply. The supply worked fine up to about 80W, but died when I tried to push it over that. So now everything is powered direct, which meant redesigning the power source, mostly done. Temperatures are okay, at full operation, the limiter core temperature is est. 105-110C of 125C rated maximum, surface temperature of that part 85C and the cooling is now powered separately rather than trying to get it from the direct source. Everything else is well below its limits so it should work this time without any big problems.
Update: Probably next week, or whenever I have time. Limiter core is down to about 85C at room temperature, surface around 65C. Emitter surface is nominal, even at full power, 40C or less.
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I am still getting questions about Cat Y, I know he had a lot of fans but this is starting to get kinda ridiculous. I know like one person who is semi-close to Cat Y's owner and that's it, and people can talk to this guy on their own. It's not like I care too much about Cat Y irl, he's not much of anything to me. I saw him once in person, once, and I didn't think much of him. Really, what's the big deal?
Sindobook:
Yes. It lasts through December if they are lucky, but will more likely run out in November. Once it runs out, then all the vehicles they rely on for transport will come to a halt, the only way they can transport animals and/or goods is by walking and/or carrying. Cat P has tried to implement several alternatives to replace the vehicles, but nothing has been well-received.
From Mikey, "At the current exchange rate, the cost to keep the vehicles running is coming in at roughly 400,000 baby carrots a day. The funds just aren't there. Defectors report that Cat P has constructed several alternative means of transport, such as a giant trebuchet known as 'the hurler', as it designed to hurl cats and cargo to their destination in a timely fashion. 'Victims' are issued parachutes, in the hope that they can avoid injury, but among the volunteers that Cat P used to test the device, approx. 57% received injuries, and of those, 29% received 'serious' injuries. No right-minded cat will even go near the device, and Cat P has run out of volunteers and has problems finding more, especially during the [off-season]."
From an unnamed informant, "The chutes, which are provided by a sponsor of [the gang], are made of stamped paper in order to cut costs. They have a prominent sponsored logo on the top and bottom. The primary problem in their implementation is that the chute must be deployed near the apogee of the flight in order to be effective. If the chute is deployed too early, tearing and breakage is common due to the high speed of travel, and the animal may be off target significantly without any means of correcting. If the chute is deployed too late, a similar, more deadly mishap can take place. Volunteers found that the best chances of survival was to ditch the chute in either of these circumstances, instead relying on their own innate abilities to land on their feet, hopefully unharmed."
Cat P claims the program as a success, claiming that it can reduce transportation costs to near-zero levels and reduce transit times significantly. Some of other cats apparently overheard Cat Y asking 'why doesn't he use it himself, then'.
Sindobook:
It doesn't work. The more you use it, the more likely you are to induce a failure, and not necessarily right then. It could cause a failure in the future.
The most common cause of failure is environmental. High temperature, ESD, liquids or other chemicals, etc. Excessive use can also cause failures, reading can cause proximity failures while writing causes write failures.
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It's honestly taken a back seat to a lot of other things. While it's interesting, it's simply not high on the list of priorities right now. They have problems, the usual money problems, internal dominance struggles, and so on. There's always a chance that they will pull through, just hang on really. We know they are dying for 'something big' but he already sold his soul, he doesn't have anything else to tempt the devil into making another deal. Public disclosure will come soon, and I can only guess what the response will be once that gets out in the open. On both sides.
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Yes it is true, but it is minor. The boss cat (P) was injured while trying to demonstrate his newly finished "Super Lift System". Jokingly referred to by most other cats as "Pop and Drop". The system involves strapping on four 'kitty boots', each with a prominent sponsor's logo and a disposable solid rocket engine. And then standing in place on a mobile launcher, while an assistant (in this case, Cat T) activates the launcher and sends the user up into the air. While he is rocketing into the sky, the user moves his paws to actively control the rocket thrust and get over his intended location. When the rockets run out, a parachute is deployed and he falls back down to earth. Sadly for the cat, who took a lot of pride in the system he had designed had a vital flaw, individual rocket engines could fizzle or fail to ignite, resulting in an inability to control the upward movement.
After his last misadventures with 'the hurler', no one even considered volunteering for the cat's latest scheme. So sure of himself, he insisted that the system was perfectly safe and that he would be the first to demonstrate its use. Secretly hoping that it would be his demise, many cats gathered as he strapped on the boots and his trusted henchman, T, readied the launcher. When T pressed the ignition switch, only the front two engines ignited. P is more than a bit overweight and this actually helped him in this case. Instead of lifting him up, the front engines simply made a lot of smoke and pushed him backwards along the ground. As the rear kitty boots were dragged off, he put out his claws to try to stop the reverse movement, but to no avail. Behind-first, he barreled through a few bystanders who could not get out of the way quickly enough and kept going. After several more seconds of rapid movement along the ground, he was thrust behind first into a containment wall which also stopped his movement. About ten seconds later, the rocket engines went out.
In this debacle the boss cat suffered numerous bruises and abrasions but miraculously no broken bones or other injuries that required long-term treatments. However, the damage to his ego is much greater, and there are whispers that his 'trusted' henchman, T, actually sabotaged the launch and set him up to fail.
Sindobook:
I've gotten numerous requests, here is the link.
http://www.cherryblossomfestivalsocal.org/media/dog_contest/dogphotopage.html
"Tofu
12 years old, Japanese Chin
Tofu went through a lot, but he is still one happy dog."
You can meet him and the others on the Blossom Stage 3:15pm this Sunday 9/25/2011
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From Mikey's blog:
"It is propaganda. If nothing else, he has a handle on propaganda. At times, he even seems masterful of it. But don't be mistaken. He just has a lot of shills. And he still has enough resources to keep his shills loyal to him (his soul hasn't run out just yet). His tactics are rather straightforward, pedestrian. Transparent. He isn't really at the expert level."
"His right paw is actually more skilled than he is. Sometimes. But, his right paw is a pariah to everyone else. He can't exist anywhere else except under the cat. If the cat were to go away, he'd be done."
"(The Snake)'s statement is vague and prone to mis-interpretation. It could mean just about anything. If he was a master, this would just be a tactic of 'stomping the grass to scare the snake'. The who, what, and why of his statement is unclear. The pretext is unclear. All throughout, they continue to try to make small animals look like the aggressors. How ludicrous! Small animals as the aggressors? When I hear of the reports from the cat, it's like something out of Monty Python[1]."
"As always, we just don't know where the snake stands. We don't. Be wary of the snake. Be especially wary of those who hang out with the snake. Of course (it goes without saying) small animals should always be wary around snakes. But be extra wary around this one. Something just smells real funny here."
"It's a low-priority matter. Ultimately, we'll know more in a few months. But we'll keep you appraised if anything else develops."
[1] Mikey is alluding to the Vorpal Bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
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You can get translation (in english) of the text in the app. Touch the screen once and outlines will appear around all the text that can be translated. Touch the inside of an outline and the english translation appears below it. Touch outside an outline to make all the outlines disappear (or re-appear).
"Going on an Errand"
"Hoo boy..."
"Darn it, I forgot to buy daikons."
"Mom."
"I'll go buy some diakons for you, mom!"
"Well, is it all right to ask you?"
"Just leave it to me!"
"I'm the strongest, after all."
"That's my biggest worry."
etc.
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