Live-Evil Forums
General => General Forum => Topic started by: KillJoy on October 07, 2004, 08:18:45 pm
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My goal here is to read other random quotes to add into my life. Far too often someone says things around that are totally funny out of context. So I'll kick this off with the first random quote.
"All my friends say I'm an idiot, but I don't really call them my friends anyway."
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and as i once told my friend "bhairavi...look at the belly button!"
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Sometimes infliction is all it takes to make something different.
"This isn't science, we're killing people."
Try that out giving accents to different words making them sound most important. Might just be me.
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"i am not a shrimp! i am a king prawn!"
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"I don't taste good, don't even think about your favorite Kabbage Roll recipe"
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"The problem with free advice is you still over pay for it."
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"uuh..i cant get it on 'cause of the lotion!"
::insert grunting here::
SNAP!
"owww!!!!!!!"
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^^^^^^
O_O;
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"There is no problem too big to fix with more duct tape"
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"ducky go down the hoooooooole!"
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"If you can't be handsome you can at least be handy"
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"i don't eat meat 'cause i'm a veterinarian."
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"I don't know what that is, but I know it isn't good"
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"I have a fishy shaped toothbrush holder on my desk holding pencils. It is staring at me."
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"The Hole Hawg is dangerous because it does exactly what you tell it to. It is not bound by the physical limitations that are inherent in a cheap drill, and neither is it limited by safety interlocks that might be built into a homeowner's product by a liability-conscious manufacturer. The danger lies not in the machine itself but in the user's failure to envision the full consequences of the instructions he gives to it."
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"i like a little length on my short sleeves"
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"Laugh and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either"
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"what?! omg! who is driving?!" "BEAR!" repeat until you die
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"eagles may flight high, but Weasles do get sucked into jet engines"
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"I agree that someone has to care, I just don't agree that that someone is me."
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"until i die and then you drill a hole in my head to put your wang in"
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"A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, except different"
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"I can't be a farmer - I don't have any ducks!"
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"If only we could get people to turn out and vote for the president as religiously as they vote for the next American Idol..." - KillJoy's wishful thinking
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"What goes up better #$% not come down on me!"
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things every plumper knows, "Shit does down, water goes up, and payday is every other Friday."
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"lunar eclipse is when the sun goes in front of the moon"
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I was in college and a girl came up to me as serious as a heart attack and asked what planet was going between the earth and the moon to cause the lunar eclipse.. I was so shocked I couldn't even give a snide remark for at least 5 seconds.
now for a quote -
"I don't think this is a brains kinda outfit"
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"She's not the fastest snail in the race"
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"the angle of dangle is proportional to the heat of meat and inversely proportional to the mass of ass"
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"we are dying of scurvy in our homosexual boat."
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"This halloween try handing out candy bars that are frozen. And for added fun hand them out by using a sling shot."
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"My feet are on their last legs..."
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"for halloween I'm trying to get my wife not wear make up, thats the scarest thing I've ever seen"
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"There's nothing quite like realizing that you have less fingers than you thought"
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"No officer I have no idea how fast I was going since the car only reads to 145mph"
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"That guy sheds like a Mongolian dog"
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"You wanna talk contact patches? Your car has contact patches the size of your tounge. The deliverator's car has contact patches the size of a fat lady's thighs. It takes off like a bad day and can stop on a placenta."
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* gimptastic has come to the conclusion that mikala is some geeky pc super hero person
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because POOF! you're here to help and then POOF! you disappear
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my fav saying
"where ever you go, there you are"
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< gufymike> Ether_Man, I just don't like group a (leechers) who tell group b (anyone filling the leeching need) who they should do things, cause it doesn't meet with group a's liking, when its a free service group b is providing